Saturday, January 1, 2011

This year I hope to live...

I have been working through Angela Thomas' most recent book called "do you know who I am? And other brave questions women ask." and though I'm just half way through it has resonated in lots of places of my soul. I have decided that instead of a list of do's and don'ts this year, I thought I'd think more on how I hope to live. This year I hope to live...
  • Live gratefully, as every good and perfect gift is from Him.
  • Live tenderly, responding with a soft and gracious heart.
  • Live prayerfully, ask Christ to direct my day, not my to do list. Is it an accomplish day? or a give-yourself-way-day? or give yourself room to breathe day?
  • Live fully KNOWN in His sight. Recognizing that His grace is sufficient for every day and every circumstance.

How do you hope to live this year?

Here is info on Angela:

Here is where you can get her newest book!  I'd get em all!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

redecorating, help needed.

Today my heart is all tumbled up.   If you were to see my heart today it would probably look like a burnt up ol' gingerbread girl all curled up at the edges with a big ragged hole in the middle.  Today the hurt and the anger is winning. It was just after Christmas last year that harsh words were spoken, misunderstanding, past hurts and resentments led to the basic disintegration of a life long relationship.  Now, today, I get a simple email asking for my address.  I am struggling.  I have got not "good christian girl" words on my lips and in my heart. I want to be kind, I want to forgive, I want to mend, I want to fix,I want to be the bigger person, the stronger person, see the opportunity for a rainbow. Ultimately I would be overjoyed to have restoration and healing in this relationship, but oh do I hurt.  I just wanna be be mad and make my point and have my say.  I have gotten kind of protective of my heart and I don't feel inclined to hand it over. So the only thing to do is give it up and give it over. I know that.  Problem is, is that I have spent a year with this one and it's kinda taken up and decorated it's own corner.  So I'm going to need some help clearing that space back out and cleaning it up. A job that is a bit too big for this girl to do by herself.  Divine intervention required.

Monday, November 29, 2010

On Returning, from a husband and wife

I came across this amazing post today.  Sometime others can say the things that we can't so I will let you head over there and take a read, take a breath and be blessed as I was...

On Returning, from a husband and wife

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Honey...welcome to my world!

Yesterday morning we woke up to a world blanketed in ice and snow.  My husband who typically leaves at 5:30 in the morning for his hour long commute spent that hour instead shoveling out his car.  (since then there is now space in the garage for it along with my mom-mobile, funny how its suddenly a priority, hehe)  So my husband decided since he was late already he was going to take the opportunity to drive our girls to school.  Apparently it's way cooler when Dad does it than boring old Mom.  I have to say that I really enjoyed listening to the exchanges as they got ready to go.  I was taking advantage of the time to get ready a little more unhurriedly for my weekly bible study. It was the typical morning stuff us Mom's are familiar with, Mom I can't find my Home Reading, she took my mittens, my snow pants don't fit (just needed a re-adjustment) you know the drill.  The funniest part was when my daughter realized that she had left her winter boots out the previous day on our deck and they were now completely full of snow. Oh the panic!! After finally seeing them all ensconced safely in hubby's car spare boots and all, my big, tough husband gave me a baffled, what the heck was that! look and said "wow what is with them this morning?",  I calmly replied, with a satisfactory grin on my face, "Honey, that was a completely normal morning, welcome to my world."   He was still shaking his head as he pulled out of the driveway.  And that is why I need the rest of the day to lay on the couch and eat bonbon's until it's time to pick them up again...

Friday, November 12, 2010

I'm not sorry!

I'm not perfect, obviously, but I often find myself tamping down my natural inclinations. I often find my self apologizing for the things that come to me naturally.

The Psalmist says "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. (Psalm 139:13,15).

If my creator made me who I am than why do I expend so much energy on apologizing for it? I'm not saying that I never need to apologize, I most certainly do. I do not however, need to apologize for being what I was created uniquely to be. As a Jesus lover I am work in progress, graciousness, kindness and gentleness, are not always my first or natural response but everyday He does a little more work in me to make it so. In the meantime though, I will no longer apologize for being the things that make me me.  I tend to laugh loud, talk loud,  I say what I think often times without being asked.  My face will most certainly show you exactly what I'm thinking. I love people and being around them but I relish my solitude.  I don't like chatting on the phone I'm too distracted for that.  Email me a time and place and I would much rather give you my undivided attention face to face.  I sigh loudly with pleasure with the first few wonderful sips of my latte. I don't like Tim Hortons.  I need reminders because I forget, I get excited about something else before I even write it down.  I'm an all in or not at all kind of girl.  Guess what though, He made this way, on purpose!! And He loves me loves me loves me,  abnoxious or not, forgetful or not and whatever else about me may offend, He loves me and knew it before I was breathed into existence.  So, I am not sorry because He loves me.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Phew, we made it!

Wow, it is October 1st!  We have officially made it through the crazy, hectic period know as "Back to School".  When my girls were small I always held on to the notion that once they were in school I could breathe again.  Life would calm down some.  Last week it occurred to me that that is actually not the case.  I find I am often holding my breath, I may not be running out of breathe chasing after 2 toddlers, but I am most certainly holding my breath and needing to remind myself to just breathe.  I am thankful for the moments of the day when I am completely alone.  Yes, ALONE!! I can accomplish things with no interuptions, bathe without little hands coming in to splash me or ask for a snack.  But oh my do you pay at the end of the day.  Who would have thought that two second grades would need to spend so much time doing homework? I need to be the snack chef, cheerleader and tutor.  Is it wrong to give your kids coffee after school to get them over the hump?  I think I did less paperwork as an Admin Assistant.  Everyday there is something to remember, wear a certain color, bring something for show and tell, pack a special snack,  bring back forms, you get the idea. 

It is a whirlwind indeed but I am thankful for those moments of quiet and stillness in between.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

So soon?

So the other day I was in a store with my two beautiful IDENTICAL twin daughters helping my Mom choose new frames for her glasses.  It's been interesting having identical twins, they are now 7, there are so many similarities between them physically but they are so entirely different.  As any parent knows it is amazing how different kids from the same parents and same environments can be.  Aside from slightly different haircuts and a smidge difference  in height most people have trouble determining who is who.  The girls really enjoy this but today we had a first.  The, seemingly innocuous, sales lady literally pointed at one of the girls and said "Oh this one is sooo cute!".  My daughter soaked it up and said thank you, meanwhile, my other little girls' entire countenance just fell, her shoulders slumped and her eyes misted up.  I on the other hand had to restrain my self from knocking this lady off of her feet!  I quickly assured my other daughter that she was super cute too, which doesn't seem to have as much meaning as some stranger! apparently I have to think that cause I'm her Mom.

I've already been asked "does my butt look big in these jeans", have to explain that being sexy is only used when talking about adults, and still haven't figured out if I should make an issue out of my 7 year olds saying "ooohh that looks hot!" and tears when they come home saying that so and so said I'm fat.  What the heck!! Seriously why does it have to been so soon...